Two-time premiership winner and reality TV star Darren Jolly has opened up about his battle with mental health as he was honoured by Collingwood on Wednesday night.
Jolly played 237 AFL games in his career for Melbourne (48), Sydney (118), and Collingwood (71), winning a flag with the latter two clubs.
As a crucial player in the Collingwood Magpies' 2010 Premiership side, the AFL giants awarded Jolly with a lifetime membership, and upon accepting the honour, he spoke honestly about his experiences after hanging up the boots.
"Since 2015, I've been thrown some extremely difficult challenges in my life that I'd never thought I'd have to deal with," Jolly said in his speech.
"Challenges that have tested me in every single way. Those include being admitted into hospital to remove a brain tumour after I was told by a GP that I just had a sinus infection.
https://twitter.com/CollingwoodFC/status/1232566354323988480"Spending three weeks in a mental facility to deal with depression. Leaving my 15-year marriage because I fell out of love and wanted a happier life.
"I can stand here tonight and say everything I was going through broke me."
Jolly won the 10th series of the Block with his then-wife in 2015, two years after he retired from footy.
https://twitter.com/CollingwoodFC/status/1232613974312570881He said in his darkest moment he contemplated suicide, but eventually learned to better confront his mental health and now uses his experiences to help others, and not just in the AFL bubble.
"After a long slow burn, I had this unrealistic expectation I could fix everything on my own. 'It'll be right, I'll fix it,' I was telling myself. I was constantly telling myself and other people I was fine and acting like everything was OK, when in fact it wasn't," Jolly said.
"One day I finally acknowledged to myself I couldn't get through this mess on my own and needed help. It was the day I almost did something stupid and ended my life.
"Everything was too much to handle and I lost control. I lost my drive to keep going, I lost my purpose in life.
"I lost my direction and I lost my path. I thought it was easier just to go. I'm not ashamed to stand here tonight and tell you that I spent time in hospital to deal with my issues. I look back now and can say it was the best thing that I could have ever done.
"I learned a lot about mental illness, including depression and the coping mechanisms to get back on track as there is still some challenges to go through. I'm in a much better head space now to deal with them.
"I now enjoy talking about my experiences, because one it helps me with my recovery and two I hope talking to people about my experiences might help them with their issues and difficulties and show them that men who have played AFL or men in general aren't immune to life's struggles.
"I'm taking each day as it comes and continuing to work towards a happy and more fulfilling life. I know one day I'll get to see my girls, I pray that's sooner rather than later. I will get through this and be a better man for it."
Collingwood president Eddie McGuire said Jolly had the entire room "completely captivated" with his speech.
"Normally they get up and they thank the bootstudder, the coach, people who have been around them... their manager, their family, etc," McGuire said on Triple M.
"The room was completely captivated, totally immersed in what he had to say."
Jolly was not the only former Magpie recognised with a life membership. Jarryd Blair, Dale Thomas, Tyson Goldsack, Sharrod Wellingham and Ian Cooper were also given the honour.
Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call 000.
from WWOS http://wwos.nine.com.au/afl/darren-jolly-on-mental-health-collingwood-magpies-life-membership/525e5205-3312-4cee-8649-4413bdfad450
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